All of Your Birthdays

I want to extend an offer.

A happy birthday to anyone celebrating their birthday in the current calendar year, along with any future calendar years*.

While the jury is still out on you as a person, life is full of things, and I’m inspired every day seeing you do those things, if you do them, which you may not. I mean, it’s up to you. Maybe you think the land of the living is colourless. I’m not gonna sit here and berate your choices – that’s for strangers on the internet to do!

Anyway, why throw away all of that stuff we’ve done or not done, that meant everything or nothing?

Happy birthday, person.

*This offer is valid up to – and including – the moment of complete brain death.

Fiction, Fred West's Shorts, Shorts

Reagan’s Coming


Collect Calls

of the Nicaraguan Dead

Reagan's Coming

big thanks to my pal Kyle for drawing the above photo of Reagan. they didn’t have to. yeah, I made some threats, and yeah i clambered half dead from a novelty birthday cake on their behalf, but they didn’t have to. i’d have done those things anyway. Kyle is a rad illustrator, hates cops, makes comics, and is just about the finest musician I know. they currently play in the gorgeous All Cats Are Beautiful (ACAB) and previously played in He Was Eaten By Owls.  they wants you to message them asking where the fuck Sunny Browne, their beautiful hand-drawn comic about a non-binary furry detective, is. thanks, Kyle!

They say that in the final years of his presidency, with a very particular form of despondent sadness enveloping him, Ronald Reagan spent his last days in the White House entering any room with a TV and masturbating to the point of climax onto the screen. Continue reading


YELLACAST 1: Everyone is Learning to Swim (except Marek)!

Welcome to the first episode of Yellacast, a series of audio vignettes built around a changing theme every couple of weeks. In the inaugural offering, we meet Deet and Marek; the first who hasn’t turned up to work for the last 25 years, and the latter, his boss, who won’t stop leaving messages on his former employee’s answerphone. Continue reading


Chris: Prince of the Bakers

Today when I placed my vote, I couldn’t help but think of an old college comrade taken much too soon. All the roads he would’ve travelled, and hopefully travels now in spirit. In every crook of every corner of the world, his easy laughter rings out. His look of constant surprise. His gentle nature, quizzical smile. I feel privileged to have ever called him a friend. I will sing his name as long as I breathe air.

Praise up, Doddy!

Chris Dodd